


Dear Liam, my lovely, lovely, Liam

by bolles88



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mention of smut, Suicide, meh not my best, mention of cutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:24:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bolles88/pseuds/bolles88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is a murderer, a downright murderer. And Zayn is walking around dead. </p>
<p>So Zayn writes his final words to Liam because Zayn's beyond repair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Liam, my lovely, lovely, Liam

**Author's Note:**

> Woah! I'm back :) just wrote this in like one day eek! If it sucks I'm sorry I had good inspiration not sure if I executed it properly! 
> 
> Thanks for reading loves :)

Dear Liam, my lovely, lovely Liam,

How does one start a letter like this? I really don't want to start with goodbye because then this letter has ended, but I should start goodbye because if not then you're confused and that's not fair. 

So I'm here to say goodbye, to tell you that I'm leaving you my love, and please do wish me farewell.

I'll be there when you read this and when you tell the boys. I'll been there for the interviews and the radio shows. I'll even take a spot next to you at my funeral, I'll even let you stand next to Danielle. 

Do you remember how we met? 

X-factor, god that was a ways ago. I didn't want to talk to any of you, all so cheeky and proud in your skin, I wanted to shiver out of my body and crawl away when I met you. I already knew I was gay, and god your fucking straightened hair and big eyes. You really hit me hard Liam. 

And then we shared a sloppy kiss that really messed us all up and the flirting was now dangerous and the glances forbidden. And then Danielle. And then the breakup and then us.

Do you remember asking me while we were making pan cakes? Shit, I sure do. It flew out of the pan right in front of my feet and you bent down like some knight and asked me to be your boyfriend. Oh my lovely Liam how could I say no? 

And then Modest told us it was all too obvious and Louis and Harry already were having problems and goddamn why is this band so gay?

Do you recall our first time? God Li it was so good. I know you said you were drunk but I knew. I fucking knew. I knew that you were sober, you never drink. 

It was a mistake to you wasn't it? I was a mistake. I am a mistake to you, aren't I? Someone you can fuck around with. Someone that you can call up for some fun. Well I just realized how much I meant to you, how little I meant to you.

So then came Perrie. And Perrie is a wonderful girl but she was no you. And Danielle was back and I cried so much, scraping at my wrists and sobbing my eyes raw. 

And you loved her, you surely saw me puff my fags more then usual. Didn't you hear me crying? 

I'm sure you did. 

So I bid you farewell. 

And no one says goodbye and means it when committing suicide. Because this isn't suicide, not even close.

This is murder. The utter horror of watching you rip me inside out, without the slightest recognition. Sure, steal my heart, smash it with your lying words, "I'm straight Zayn god," lies. 

But I also need to say thanks. Thank you for killing me because now I don't have to do it myself. Thank you for putting the blade in my hand. Thank you for making my heart rot my insides until I felt the need to end my pain.

Some people kill themselves to die. I just want to escape the pain.

The Payne.

Liam Panye, 

I want to escape you.

So Liam, my lovely, lovely, Liam. 

I love you. I love you, you twisted bastard. This is for you. 

Zayn xx

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes! English isn't my first language :x ! Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!
> 
> Izzy :)


End file.
